Iriphaphan government quells horse rebels

Forces loyal to the Iriphaphan government have seen off a rebellion by the country's horses despite being apparently outmatched in fire power.

The horses were largely unsuccessful in deploying the stealth missile technology at their disposal and seemed unduly susceptible to custard pie attacks.

Custard pies and trifles were the main weapons in the government arsenal and military experts did not give them much chance. However, they were surprisingly effective in seeing off horse attacks.

The horses just seemed to run away, said IJN's chief foreign correspondent John Simper. The equine leaders just did not take into account the fact that they are a flight animal, predisposed to running off.

Iriphaphans celebrated tonight by burning the half-built wooden horse they had been planning to use to infiltrate the rebel camp. The horses are in exile in a field in Herefordshire.

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